The Bags of the Season: The Messenger

DKNY Messenger- this one's got it all, cream colour, bad-boy detailing and retro quilting.

Oh the messenger bag! Perhaps the most back-friendly of all the fashionable bag options, with the ability to be quite a handsome addition to any outfit, but it has never achieved the wide-spread appeal it really should have.

My theory about this lack of popularity is that most women consider messengers too masculine a look, and most men feel they're too feminine. This leaves a rather small legion of fans comprised solely of very fashion-forward ladies, gay men and college professors (who are attracted to worn leather and heritage emblems like moths to a flame).

The messenger has never achieved popularity because it appeals to both demographics, and as a result, neither. Everyone is just too self-conscious to make the unisex stand of wearing a messenger bag.

Well, I've got a memo for everybody: WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT GENDER YOU ARE.

Besides, in these 21st century days, with Lady Gaga, the pop super-star of our time, bending preconceived gender ideas and stereotypes, isn't it time for us all to get a little more cool?

In addition to being cool, messengers are distinctly classy as well. Why? Well firstly, it shows you're not overtly frivolous, and that you understand the reality of needing a medium-sized bag for you belongings as well as a shoulder-strap in case you are required to do a bit of running or biking or the like. Secondly, the classic and subtle features of the messenger bag let on that you like looking good, but not in an ostentatious or over-the-top way. Lastly, the messenger bag gives you a bit of intelligence cred through its collegiate look and reputation.

Besides, messengers are so hot this season they are literally starting fires in high class department stores all over the world. You don't want to be left in the stylish dust do you?
No? Good.

So go forth, purchase. My tip? Search vintage men's wear first. That's where you'll find the styles that are most in vogue today, for comparatively cheap prices. Below are some designer favourites from Net-a-Porter, including the now-famous Raspberry Proenza Schouler messenger. But before that, some things to look for in your messenger:

• Worn leather
• Tall bags (the extra fabric flops over to close the bag)
• Zippers and chains
• Minimalist simplicity and utility
• Retro quilting
• Pops of rich colour (in some cases)
• Neutral colours (for the most part)

J. Crew Messenger- this bag could potentially be taller then me.

The famous Proenza Schouler raspberry messenger- the colour is integral.

The functional Mulberry messenger- it has a classic beauty, doesn't it?

Sara Berman's punky little take-off on the trend- wait, it's studded AND has quilting? She is blowing my mind.

The Marni messenger- neutral yet a bit rebellious, looks like a runaway's dream satchel.

What I Have Learned From... The Moomin Family.

It's been a while since I've issued a teaching of the covert "School of Style".

My last grain of inspiration was about the Mayans- since then my school and I have been hiding out in a hidden fortress of the Alps, training for the greatest fashion show-down of all time. Of course, I can say no more about that at this time.

All I can do is impart another inspiration- I have, by a long and intricate process, managed to extract a means of wireless internet connection that will last maybe eight minutes. I have to be quick.

You may be wondering- who exactly is this Moomin family that I have learned so much from? The sad thing is, you should already know. Because the Moomins were and are and amazing fictional species in an amazing fictional land in a series of amazing fictional stories. For a fuller background click here.

The Moomin stories are very dream-like, albeit really cohesive and awesome. At first the stories may seem confusing, even weird, but before long you're hooked.

The fashion idea that these Moomins have instilled in me is the idea of minimalism.

The characters, in appearance, are so simplistic, yet so powerful. Look at Moomintroll up there, with only a top-hat and a cane. He bespeaks an elegant minimalism that is just entrancing. He doesn't need polka-dots or stripes to be a children's icon all over the world- he's just... a white, round-ish figure.

Bland, however, he is not. He is interesting because he is so simple. It gives him a foreign, exotic quality. A little something we just can't put our finger on. That "it" quality.

And that's what the minimalist pieces of this fall are all about. They all have a twist. And that twist really only stands out because it is set against a startling simplicity. In a way, these subtle items will be the most interesting clothes you ever wear.

So, in a hurried fashion, I will put the items I have found that fit this mold below, before my pirated internet connection fails and my school is once again thrown into hidden obscurity. Goodbye, my students, goodbye.

Brian Atwood Patent Pumps

Chanel Rope Necklace

Chloe Polka-Dot Taffeta Skirt

Elizabeth and James Blazer

Fossil Worn Leather Backpack

Jil Sander Cashmere-Blend Pants

Miu Miu Gloves

Miu Miu Wool-Twill Dress

Proenza Schouler Leather Messenger

Ray Ban Aviators

Stella McCartney Trousers

Theory Blouse

Yves St. Laurent Calf-Hair Sandals

Yves St. Laurent Wool Dress

Chanel Pearl Drop Earrings

Mission Impossible Three-- Super Kitsch

I commend this visor.
Mad R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
I r-e-s-p-e-c-t it for being such a hard nut to crack.
Having said that, I think it is evident who has come out of this battle in victory. And I think history shall find it is my name in the books. I slapped this Jersey Shore-type item into submission with the power of Ronnie bashing a man's coconut into the boardwalk with his hammer-hand.
Basically, what I have done to neutralize the super-kitsch/tack of this item is given the visor two classy companions in the form of Marc by Marc Jacobs sneaks in the same colours, only with added brown suede. Basically, Marc gave me the idea for the entire rest of the outfit. God bless that genius of all geniuses. The suede, which I also brought in with the fringe vest, allowed me to bring a little earthiness in to the outfit, which in turn, led me to the jewelry. The jewelry using the earthiness as a platform to jump from, achieved a level of class for the outfit, which is all I could really ask for.
So there you go, when it comes to fashion, this right here, it's pretty much the Situation.

The Impossible: Lids NY Mets Visor

Marc by Marc Jacobs Sneakers

True Religion Suede Fringe Vest

Giambattista Valli White Silk Blouse

True Religion Jeans

Roberto Cavalli Swarovski-embellished earrings

Alexander McQueen four-fingered gothic-style ring

The Bags of the Season: The Handbag

One of the season's handbags- vintage, sadly.

FASHION LOG, August 11th, 2010-

5:26 PM: I begin writing the first installment in my bags of the season series. For several minutes I fail to do this and watch an 80s fitness video on the TV instead.

5:30 PM: I return to writing. I drag the table my laptop is on towards myself several times, now the lamp cord is all taut and fraught with potential danger.

5:31 PM: I eventually get back to work because I happen to point my staring at the computer screen where the handbags I am supposedly talking about are in full view. I admire them all over again. They are too cute.

Yet they also have a business-like side. It looks like they're saying "We hold important things too! We're just very selective. Not just anything gets in this bag."

They're "directional" as Net-a-Porter would say, and the direction they're pointing in is Fashionville, along Route 101 Style, with a turn-off on to Haute Couture Avenue.

5:34 PM: I snack lightly on some crackers and mozzarella (or, as I call it, "Pizza Cheese"). I hear "Way to work guys!" issuing repeatedly from the TV. I am proud.

5:40 PM: The thing that I love about these bags, I think to myself, is that they can cover so many of your necessary fall trends in one fell swoop. Let's see:

Retro: CHECK

Ladylike: CHECK

Simplistic/Minimal: CHECK

And, get one in a camel or scarlet and that is another big CHECK!

5:46 PM: I wonder when dinner will be ready and stare into the kitchen forlornly.

5:49 PM: I get back to business. The thing is, though this IS the handbag for the season, you won't find one in mainstream stores, not yet. But that's what fashion is about, isn't it? Being several season ahead of everyone else?

5:55 PM: Dinner. Vast enjoyment is had.

6:20 PM: I continue. I have nicknamed this particular item "The Short-leashed Wallet" because of its small, compact nature and its short strap, below are more pictures of some finds, all of which remind me of snappy 60s career women, stepping out in style. Ending on this point I add some more pics of the "SLW" and am finished in time for Coronation Street!

Such hard work and so much genius goes into these posts, clearly.

A pretty vintage number meant for going out!

A simple, utilitarian handbag, but gorgeous nonetheless.

A simple chic black short-leashed wallet.

A new spin on the old style by Anya Hindmarch.

A larger-sized Fendi version currently on the market.

Leather Shorts: An Ode

* Click to enlarge picture.

Oh short that hath been crafted from leather,
so elegant and yet formidable art thou;
I would wish to own you, yet have not the means
I also lack the means to end this poem, and so it ends now.

This O.O. (Orbital Outfit) is a double-whammy, because I must admit, though is there always a "right" way to wear an item, outfits must be tweaked depending on the circumstance. Basically, what I have done is upped the sex-appeal on the night outfit, and kept it to a professional minimum in the day outfit. It is, of course, possible to use the outfits inter-changeably- far be it from me to hold one sexy girlfriend back. But leather shorts are leather shorts after all, either way you'll be looking like one hot tamale stepping out in these babies.

Loose Irf? Tuxedo Blazer

Alexander McQueen Leopard Print Scarf

Paris Hilton Camel Heels (I know, who would've thought?)

Topshop Studded Corset Top

Burberry Prorsum Fitted Oatmeal Sweater

Oscar de la Renta Printed Flats

Urban Outfitters Pinstripe Floral Pattern Tight

Yves St. Laurent Belt

The Bags of the Season: Intro

Handbag: Vintage short-handled

I know what is going on everyone's minds at the moment in their fashion lobes (the area of the brain located between the parietal and occipital lobes) (that's right, I just googled "brain diagram") (that's right I just made two successive parenthesis, now three in total) ANYHOW I know what it is that is going around and around your fashion lobe:

"I need a new bag, I need to find a bag, what's the bag of the season? I need to find my fall/winter bag"

And that sort of stuff, along those sorts of lines.

My message that I do issue forth upon you: here they are.

In a few different posts I'll outline the best of the best this season, and what traits to look for in your 2010 fall/winter bag. I'll show you the clutch, the handbag, the tote, the over-the-shoulder messenger. Whatever style you need, there's a fashionable update this season. A few basics must-have traits are:

• Soft, beaten leather
• Minimalism in features
• Gothic features or aspects
• Neutral colours
• 50s-60s era inspiration

Below are the poster children of each type of bag for the 2010 fall/winter season, with more detailed posts on each to come:

Messenger: DKNY cream-colured with chain piping

Tote: Alaia 60s style leopard

Clutch: Lanvin metallic red gothic-style

To Hoo-m it May Concern:

I've always been predisposed to liking fancy, detailed purses. To me, the question is, why not? Some parts of the outfit are meant to be bases by nature. Pants usually fill this role. Blouses can fill this role. And jackets. 

But purses? They're meant to be decorative. 

In fact, they can verge on being tacky and kitschy while still being ultimately cool. Take this Mary Frances metallic hand-held purse. It is virtually an owl. What other item could disguise itself, in full, as an owl and still pull it off? Only the purse. That's why the purse is the perfect subject for an orbital outfit. It just draws other items into its orbit. That's what happened with these ones, I spent no more than a couple of mementos and these items fell straight into place. Ah, the cosmos of fashion. Hoo hoo hoo can resist?

The Outfit Boss: an amazing Mary Frances metallic hand-held purse that steals the show!

A Theory dress which gives a subtle spin to the "Grecian goddess" look.

Sixties-inspired tortoise-shell sunnies by Marc Jacobs.

Iosseliani long and drapey earrings.

Metal eyelet cuff ring by Aurelie Bidermann

Sensible brown suede platforms by Yves St. Laurent.