Nuggets and Grains.

You have, by now, seen my inspirations. You know what they're up to. (if you haven't, don't be a lazy bastard, scroll down and take a peak-see). Now, you say, what can we learn stylistically from these people? Ohohohohhhh. Much, very much is what that chortle signified. Scan your little eye-invaders below on five of my fashion weather-cocks and see if you like their truths and wisdoms, which, in hindsight, might've been a more appealing title for this post.

Noel Fielding:

Lesson 1) Never wear BROWN. There is no brown with a sexy feel to it, there's no such thing. You either look extremely neutral, or like a big peice of shit, neither of which is very appealing.

Lesson 2) Glitz, sparkle, glitter, neon colour, it all draws the eyes to you, so make sure your hair looks great. Root boost like mad. Every part of you must command attention.

Lesson 3) Boots are highly sexual, wear white and red ones to make that even more pronounced.

Lesson 4) There's no such thing as having TOO fantastic an outift, never try to tone yourself down.

Alright, thank you for that Noel, let's move on.

M.I.A.:

Lesson 1) Spandex is pretty rad, it makes you look like a super hero.

Lesson 2) In fact, the entire thigh area is good, flaunt that. Unless you're in high school, because that sort of thing is frowned upon in high school, as there is, and should never be, anything sexual about it to lighten the mood up. Please wear loose, comfortable pants. Not so loose as to expose your bottom, mind. And if you absolutely need to wear a skirt, please contain yourself and wear something at least to your ankles, if not considerably longer. And, if possible, we would like never to be reminded that you have breasts. They can distract.

3) Be very original with your accessories. Wear things that aren't supposed to be worn. Have fun with it. If you EVER cry over what you're wearing you've missed the point of fashion altogether and are taking yourself much too seriously. You've got to have a functional relationship with both your body and your clothes to make a go of this, and if it doesn't work out (which many, many a time it won't, this happens to the best of us) then that's how it is. Just be jolly and roll with it, at least your attitude will be becoming.

Good tips there M.I.A., thanks girlfriend.

Russell Brand:

Lesson 1) The main lesson with R. Brand here is layering. Layer like a modern pirate, with both loose and tight, also juxtapose that with tight pants and slick boots. The ultimate layer job, hard to achieve and, some believe, naught but an urban myth, is the LACE LAYER. This is a phenomena in which you layer so many see-through, cut-out and other- wise innapropriate items that, in the end, nothing is revealed, but you've come off as a bad-ass. Store that in your fashion arsenal for a rainy day.

Thanks Russ, you're the fashion pirate in all of our hearts.

Becki Newton:

Lesson 1) ANYTHING can look good with the right amount of confidence, but you'll look especially good with anything tight, bright and belted.

Lesson 2) "Borrow" things, take every free sample you can get and mooch like there's no tomorrow, also, if there's a sale, you're actually SAVING money, and make sure to raise a good eyebrow at anyone who tells you different.

Becki, we've run out of time but we've loved every minute of it, thank you.

Faris Badwan:

Lesson 1) You know what is good? The colour black and tight little pants the British like to call drainpipes. And that is all that is good.

You've been great, thanks Faris.

There's five of my inspirations, spitting advice like there's no tomorrow, take it all in, cause one day you're gonna want to know how to dress in a trendy downtown setting and these babes show us the way. And basically the lesson is tight as fuck and deliciously glitzy glam. I know that's how I live my life, how 'bout you?