Pop Cultchah: Mission Impossible Five-- The CLOG.

* Click to enlarge picture.

Do not misunderstand me: there's nothing I hate more than the American Eagle clog. On this point I must be clear. Though I espouse love to all items of clothing, saying each can be worn stylishly in some outfit, I found it hard to overcome my gag reflex when thinking about this shoe most commonly seen rocked by your local garden gnome (that's right AE groupies, they outnumber even you!)

The sad thing is, I once owned a pair of these monstrosities. Not only did I own them, but I often wore them! However, I will say for myself that when I looked in the mirror I was unsure as to why I was perpetrating this fashion crime and confused as to how they became popular in the first place (though I suspected that somewhere an American Eagle staff member was having a good laugh at my, and all my peers', expense).

Coming back to that painful memory was hard for me, as I started in on this Mission Impossible. But I persevered.

After only a few minutes thinking I realized the only, singular and sole way one could wear these clogs without looking a tad gauche. AS SLEEPWEAR.

They are, after all, the winter equivalent of a Birkenstock which is, without much clever deducing, a SLIPPER. The AE clog is a slipper. It's not very cozy, but it's pretty damn hardy, and, all in all, I think it would be a great one. In fact, you could even go outside to get the paper in these solid little slip-ons!

I paired the, ehem, slippers, with bare and neutral loungewear and lingerie, which is all the rage right now. I also added a little sexiness (something the clogs detract, though they do add a certain level of cuteness) with pin-up red lipstick and a sweet perfume from Mr. Marc Jacob.

And that, my friends, is not a bad outfit.

And listen, just because it's stayin' indoors, doesn't mean it won't be seen...

I'm winking in real life.