The Bags of the Season: The Clutch

The Alexander McQueen answer to this season`s clutch.

Trends to watch for on this season`s It clutches:

• Super simplicity
• Extra long lengthhhhh
• Gothic or baroque detailing
• Retro glitz (anything covered in sparkly stuff, from crystal to rhinestone!)
• Conceptual kitsch (over-the-top and unique ideas)
• Elegant feathers
• Ribbon-entwined chains
• Scarlet reds

Remember: this season's evening wear and accessories is all about old school Hollywood GLAMOUR.

3.1 Phillip Lim makes a clutch almost as simple and elegant as his fashion line's name/

This Bottega Veneta clutch is reminiscent of a McQueen- but very much toned-down.

This awe-inspiring piece of clutch-art is a Judith Leiber creation- with a subtle back-drop this piece could steal the show at any cocktail party or dinner!

If you just can't handle having a miniature zebra in your palm, there's also this more reasonable (but no less glamorous) fan clutch by Leiber. 

This Lanvin clutch captures more than one of the season's trends- ribbon-entwined chain, elegant feathers, and a gothic feel.

Who could resist this classy yet playful Louboutin stunner-of-a-clutch?

Maison Martin Margiela produced this clutch- a lesson in how stunning minimalism can be.

OH MY GODDD: Why is this Miu Miu clutch SOO cute?!

The limousine of clutches, by Nancy Gonzalez.

A sexy Marilyn Monroe-esque clutch from Valentino

One heck of a gothic clutch from McQueen- love the finger holes.

Mission Impossible Five-- The CLOG.

* Click to enlarge picture.

Do not misunderstand me: there's nothing I hate more than the American Eagle clog. On this point I must be clear. Though I espouse love to all items of clothing, saying each can be worn stylishly in some outfit, I found it hard to overcome my gag reflex when thinking about this shoe most commonly seen rocked by your local garden gnome (that's right AE groupies, they outnumber even you!)

 

The sad thing is, I once owned a pair of these monstrosities. Not only did I own them, but I often wore them! However, I will say for myself that when I looked in the mirror I was unsure as to why I was perpetrating this fashion crime and confused as to how they became popular in the first place (though I suspected that somewhere an American Eagle staff member was having a good laugh at my, and all my peers', expense).

Coming back to that painful memory was hard for me, as I started in on this Mission Impossible. But I persevered.

 

After only a few minutes thinking I realized the only, singular and sole way one could wear these clogs without looking a tad gauche. AS SLEEPWEAR.

 

They are, after all, the winter equivalent of a Birkenstock which is, without much clever deducing, a SLIPPER. The AE clog is a slipper. It's not very cozy, but it's pretty damn hardy, and, all in all, I think it would be a great one. In fact, you could even go outside to get the paper in these solid little slip-ons!

I paired the, ehem, slippers, with bare and neutral loungewear and lingerie, which is all the rage right now. I also added a little sexiness (something the clogs detract, though they do add a certain level of cuteness) with pin-up red lipstick and a sweet perfume from Mr. Marc Jacob.

 

And that, my friends, is not a bad outfit.

 

And listen, just because it's stayin' indoors, doesn't mean it won't be seen...

 

I'm winking in real life. 

Look at these AE puppies, they ain't so bad I guess. 

DAY Birger et Mikkelsen Knit Cardigan

Cozy Juicy Couture Wrap

Nice Smelly Stuff from Marcy Boy

Vince Linen Lounge Pants

VPL Sexy Sheer Tank Top

So a Shoe Walks into a Saloon...

*Click to enlarge picture.

So a shoe walks in to a saloon confidently, twirling its large black mustache between its laces. That shoe had reason to be confident. It was one of the largest trend items this side of the Mississippi, the child of two of the most rootin' tootin' designers in the Wild West, Thakoon and Giuseppe Zanotti.

What was the peep-toe bootie lookin' for? It was a-lookin' for a posse. To conquer fall wardrobes one by one, it'd need help.

At first the situation was mighty tense, everyone enjoying their debauchery at the saloon sensed this heel might be hostile. However, the loner managed to rustle up a rag-tag team lookin' for adventure.

And away they rode into the sunset, lookin' very complementary if I do remember rightly.

Big ol' lashes, you can purchase 'em at your local druggist's

A real nice pocket watch, I'd sell my eye-teeth for this 'un by Charles-Hubert

Cole Haan makes one cuss of a ribbed tight!

This make ya look real smart- a vest by Karen Millen

An arrowhead necklace by Pamela Love- what a purdy ornament!

If you can't grow yourself a mustache of your own, wear these socks from Urban Outfitters to build up your machismo!

A glitzy Willow blazer, just right fer a night at the saloon

The Giuseppe Zanotti for Thakoon bootie, a real knock-out!

A nice comfortable wool skirt from a feller known as Alexander Wang

The Bags of the Season: The Tote

Alaia Tote- the poster-child of this season's tote.

Tote trends this season:

• Retro or animal prints
• Ladylike detailing, such as ornamental flowers
• Subtle and utilitarian look
• Aviation or equestrian influence
• Quilting
• Chains, skulls and other gothic detailing

You probably will not (or should not) find all these trend in one tote, but you may be able to double up on some. For example, animal prints + chains, or quilting + ladylike detailing. 

Below are some more notable designer totes to base your tote-buying decisions on:

Lanvin quilted + ladylike tote

Marc Jacobs animal print tote

Marni subtle and utilitarian tote (love the bowling bag look!)

Marni utilitarian + aviator bag (the inside is shearling!)

Proenza Schouler equestrian + utilitarian tote

Stella McCartney animal print + subtle tote

Valentino ladylike tote

Mission Impossible Four-- Something Good.

*Click to enlarge picture.

Making a t-shirt with a bedazzled, winged cross on it look stylish is quite the impossible task.

Thankfully, impossible is my middle name.

The more this Urban Planet shirt, shown above to the left and below, put up a fight, the more determined I became to force it to become the central player in a fashionable outfit.

My breakthrough this time came in the form of funky and urban Matiko Nicki peep-toe wedges in a creamy pink-ish hue. It was the colour that attracted me. I realized that I had to give in to the extreme soft girliness of the shirt to elevate it to a classier position.

I know what you're thinking: the shirt has a big winged cross on it and she's saying it's girly? Well, yes I am. The main reason for that is nothing to do with the main imagery, but the overall feel of the t-shirt: soft fabric, swirly whirly accents, sparkly accents.

So I added leg-accenting black skinny jeans, a sensible crisp white blouse (to be left undone), and a structured blue denim military/band jacket to dress it up.

The Lanvin ear muffs I added on a whim, but once in the outfit I felt they were necessary because they just went along so perfectly with the whimsical, pretty look.

Lastly, I played up the wing and feather aspect of the shirt, as wings and feathers are both actually valid trends this season, (along with anything aviator, or baroque) and added two pieces of detailed silver bird-themed jewelry.

Alice + Olivia Jacket

Elizabeth and James Blouse

Fossil Bracelet

J Brand Jeans

Lanvin Earmuffs

Matiko Nicki Wedges

Minicci Ring (on sale at Payless for 4.99!)

Urban Planet Tee- The Impossible

The Bags of the Season: The Messenger

DKNY Messenger- this one's got it all, cream colour, bad-boy detailing and retro quilting.

Oh the messenger bag! Perhaps the most back-friendly of all the fashionable bag options, with the ability to be quite a handsome addition to any outfit, but it has never achieved the wide-spread appeal it really should have.

My theory about this lack of popularity is that most women consider messengers too masculine a look, and most men feel they're too feminine. This leaves a rather small legion of fans comprised solely of very fashion-forward ladies, gay men and college professors (who are attracted to worn leather and heritage emblems like moths to a flame).

The messenger has never achieved popularity because it appeals to both demographics, and as a result, neither. Everyone is just too self-conscious to make the unisex stand of wearing a messenger bag.

Well, I've got a memo for everybody: WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT GENDER YOU ARE.

Besides, in these 21st century days, with Lady Gaga, the pop super-star of our time, bending preconceived gender ideas and stereotypes, isn't it time for us all to get a little more cool?

In addition to being cool, messengers are distinctly classy as well. Why? Well firstly, it shows you're not overtly frivolous, and that you understand the reality of needing a medium-sized bag for you belongings as well as a shoulder-strap in case you are required to do a bit of running or biking or the like. Secondly, the classic and subtle features of the messenger bag let on that you like looking good, but not in an ostentatious or over-the-top way. Lastly, the messenger bag gives you a bit of intelligence cred through its collegiate look and reputation.

Besides, messengers are so hot this season they are literally starting fires in high class department stores all over the world. You don't want to be left in the stylish dust do you?
No? Good.

So go forth, purchase. My tip? Search vintage men's wear first. That's where you'll find the styles that are most in vogue today, for comparatively cheap prices. Below are some designer favourites from Net-a-Porter, including the now-famous Raspberry Proenza Schouler messenger. But before that, some things to look for in your messenger:

• Worn leather
• Tall bags (the extra fabric flops over to close the bag)
• Zippers and chains
• Minimalist simplicity and utility
• Retro quilting
• Pops of rich colour (in some cases)
• Neutral colours (for the most part)

J. Crew Messenger- this bag could potentially be taller then me.

The famous Proenza Schouler raspberry messenger- the colour is integral.

The functional Mulberry messenger- it has a classic beauty, doesn't it?

Sara Berman's punky little take-off on the trend- wait, it's studded AND has quilting? She is blowing my mind.

The Marni messenger- neutral yet a bit rebellious, looks like a runaway's dream satchel.